


Que sera, sera

by Shackett74



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Budding feelings, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-19 12:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22710955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shackett74/pseuds/Shackett74
Summary: Written as a part to MEFFW Valentine's Day event on Facebook, the 14th of February 2020 (Eros: Sexual passion)Set during towards the end of ME2 but before Shepard's suicide mission.The good Admiral’s having an inner dialogue and struggle with confusing emotions about a certain Commander...Intentionally written as an internal ”he”-form of dialogue and with some references to fluff and smut."She was a force of nature, like an amazon that even death couldn't keep.Tall and strong and proud - simply beautiful like the radiating sun..."
Relationships: Steven Hackett/Female Shepard
Comments: 15
Kudos: 14





	Que sera, sera

**Author's Note:**

> On Valentine's day I wanted to "celebrate" all the intense peering and "hidden" looks he gives Commander (F)Shepard during all their QEC talks in especially ME 3. And yes, there ARE indeed several differences in body language, looks aso during their conversations, depending on whether he talks with a Fshep or MShep...  
> Intriguing, huh? =)

Strange and undefined new feelings grew, and had grown, inside him for a while now. But it had taken its time for him to become aware of them.  
Even more so to acknowledge it.

Accepting it however, was another thing altogether.

But now after Horizon and their crossed paths with the Collectors, who seemed to have targeted her specifically, she’d awakened a strong sense of protectiveness in him. Especially so after finding out that TIM had set her up with the very same Collector ship that had killed her - and just recently been on Horizon.

It was untastefully nonchalant and negligent even by the Illusive man’s calculating standards.  
Anger quickly rushed through him at the thought of the maniac. TIM, Jack Harper or whatever he choose to call himself was no longer someone he simply disliked.

After the event with the Reaper IFF, the Illusive Man had ended up at his lists of enemies.

It was something the Commander didn’t need to know though.

In all honesty _she_ didn’t need him and his new urge to keep her out of harm's way.  
She was more capable of protecting _him_ than the other way around.  
This natural leader and soldier of steel with her good and warm heart. It was only a few of all the things he’d appreciated with her from the very start.   
She was at least as unique as his teachers had claimed him to be a long, long time ago.

Defying death was merely the latest of her otherworldly achievements, it seemed... And with all his own experiences of how final death was, her resurrection had apparently affected him more deeply than he'd realized.   
She was like a force of nature, like an enigmatic Amazon who even Death couldn't keep in its eternal grasp.  
Tall and strong and proud - simply beautiful like a radiating sun.

 _When did_ that _occur to me?_ He didn’t know, and didn’t want to either.

But it was then, when he'd come for the debrief in Normandy’s Med bay, that things seemed to start spiraling out of his renowned control.  
Or maybe it already had, he wasn’t sure.   
  
But he’d stood there, keeping up his appearances, in front of the fatigued amazon, amidst their tragedy, suffering, sorrow and his own loss of a charismatic friend.  
And felt a budding attraction between himself and the Commander!... Coming and going, yet building up until they could cut through it with a damn butter knife…

Given everything that occurred on Aratoht, what she’d endured, and all the countless deaths.  
Their unintentional magnetism in that Med bay had been beyond inappropriate in his opinion.

Thereafter his intrigue had escalated to almost ridiculous proportions.  
An earnest and bewildered sigh left his chest at that observation.  
He couldn't remember he had encountered this before. Well, except for Ines and maybe some crushes in his youth.

Being swept away like this was very unsettling. Because that damn fascination made him want to know more about her, yes _everything_ to be honest!

But if it only stopped _there_ at least. Then maybe it wouldn’t have troubled him like this frankly did.  
For if he was completely, and reluctantly, truthful, then he wanted to take her into his arms. And put his nose into her long hair and inhale deeply to feel her feminine scent in his nostrils.

And he wanted her warm and naked in front of him, displayed on his bed - or anywhere he had her all to himself for _several_ hours at least... The reasonable and disciplined parts of him choked in horror..

...Then he would let his eyes and hands sweep slowly over all her physical marvels, and savor her carefully…Yes, he would like that, very much indeed. The idea thrilled him as much as getting his hands on a unique asari star chart over unexplored star systems.

His budding emotions did however crave more...  
Wanting to delicately explore and taste her all over with his lips and tongue while he could listen to her pleasure sounds. And then he... 

_Oh Dios, mea culpa... Stop those thoughts_ immediately _Steven, and behave like the Fleet Admiral you are!_

Despite his immense self-discipline and self-restraint, the resolve was crumbling under the weight of...this..craving, now when he’d let _it_ surface.

But, he simply refused to put a name on it. Just..refused..  
She was half his age and almost half his rank. If he pursued this - her - he would only cause them both trouble and embarrass himself on top of everything, no matter what she might potentially feel of him at the moment. 

The best for her, - _them_ \- was if he remained in the shadows. Keeping it professional but watching over her to keep her from as much unnecessary harm as he possibly could.

Which of course wasn't easy, given their line of work. But he would do his best. _That_ he could do at least.

  
  
Before he returned to his duties a half-conscious realization flashed through his mind before it was quickly suppressed.  
 _But God help us both if it ever comes a day when my resolve and discipline shatters..._


End file.
